Operation Madcap
by glassfacet
Summary: In which the team goes on a major drug bust and Simmons and Ward pretend to be a couple. Biospecialist.


Chapter One

In Grant Ward's worldview, Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons were a singular organism. Fitzsimmons ran the lab and only under certain circumstances was anyone else allowed in their mad world. Just as Coulson had his office, May had the cockpit, and Skye had whatever space she chose to set up her laptop on this time, Fitzsimmons' territory was the lab. Lucky for Ward, his turf was the training space right outside of the glass sliding doors of the lab. So, of course, he saw a lot of Fitz and Simmons. And all was well in his world.

In Jemma Simmons' worldview, Grant Ward was a singularly scary, but still approachable, person. Ward ran himself, and only under exceptional circumstances such as living on the BUS did he allow anyone else to enter his mad world. Simmons very much wanted to examine his brain tissue and structure, but that would require him either dying or needing it - because she couldn't see another way that he'd let her, bar a slow week - and she really didn't want that to happen. However, when they'd divided up the space on the bus, Ward had chosen right outside the lab doors as his space. So, of course, Simmons saw quite a bit of Ward. And all was well in her world.

Predictably, Skye invaded everyone's space as much as possible. For someone who they'd found living in a van, she was very people-oriented. Which was fine, for the most part, except for the unwritten "Do not enter Agent May's Space without permission ever" rule that Skye had to find out the hard way. Skye was the one who periodically invaded the lab, which was a nice change for Simmons and Fitz both as they could grate on each other; inevitably, it would be Ward who retrieved her, which provided more material for cheering up chats in the lab. Surprisingly, both Simmons and Ward saw Skye as an adorable puppy who still needed some housetraining.

Both were a bit glad of the opportunity to talk to each other. Really, what does one say to an emotionally stunted man with a weapons affinity or a highly nervous young woman with unpronounceable degrees? Besides "Pass the marmalade, please" obviously.

Enter Operation Madcap. Which went something like this:

"The emergency that we're being sent to deal with," said Coulson, "is an interesting one. In the area between Monaco and Aix-en-Provence, a new drug has surfaced. There have also been a series of strange deaths, mostly of tourists. One of the victims was reportedly a lover of one of the princesses of Monaco. There is a concern about the royal family being targeted."

"What's the deal with the drug?" asked Simmons. "So we know what we're looking for."

"Apparently, it's a stimulant/hallucinogen mix," said Coulson. Fitz and Simmons flinched.

"Could it have been an overdose that killed these people?" asked May, directing her query at the scientists.

"Probably," said Simmons. "With the stimulant revving up blood pressure and brain activity, and the hallucinogen overriding neurotransmitters… it's entirely possible that they overdosed. Or scared themselves to death."

"How do you mean?" asked Ward.

"Not everyone reacts well to hallucinogens," said Fitz. "It's possible that the victims reacted badly, triggering a fear-based adrenalin rush—"

"—and went into cardiac arrest because of the stimulants in their systems," finished Simmons. "We did a bit of an experiment like that, didn't we Fitz?"

"Something like," muttered Fitz.

"So what's the plan?" asked Skye.

"We send in two teams," said Coulson. "May and I will stay here to act as backup, in case something happens. Agent Fitz and Skye will head through the club scene, posing as siblings on vacation who are looking for a good time."

"Gotcha," said Fitz. "Have you ever tried a hallucinogen, Skye?"

"Yup," said Skye. "Went pretty well, actually."

"Great," said Fitz, relieved. "I think we can handle that bit."

"Good," said Coulson. "The other team will be Agents Ward and Simmons, posing as a couple. You two will try and gather as much gossip as you can from the locals on the dead tourists. I'll leave the methods up to you two."

"So why can't the local police deal with this?" asked Skye.

"They're probably connected," said Ward. "Want us to check that out too?"

"I'd appreciate it," said Coulson. "I want to know what we're up against if we need to do a major drug bust."

"Right," said Simmons. "Before we destroy this drug, can Fitz and I have a look at it? Just to see what's in it in case it comes up again."

"There's a good chance you'll be able to," said Coulson. "We'll be shipping part of it to Dr. Banner when we recover it. Director Fury's request. We'll be picking him up on our way out."

"He doesn't have the clearance to know you're alive," May objected.

"But he does have the clearance to work with Agent Romanov," said Coulson. "And we have explicit instructions to pick Banner up on our way out. Apparently, he's working in the Congo, and doing well."

"Does 'doing well' mean 'not flipping out on us'?" asked Fitz.

"Currently, he's at one hundred forty-six days without incident," said Coulson. "I'll count that as doing well."

"Who's Dr Banner?" asked Skye. "Is he some kind of drug specialist?"

"His alter-ego is the Hulk," said Ward. "Not dangerous unless provoked or angry. But he is an expert on super soldiers, gamma radiation and, oddly, setting broken bones."

"Brilliant man," chimed in Simmons. "I'd have loved to work with him in the academy."

"Well, now you'll get your chance," said Coulson. "Suit up. We have a long few days ahead of us."

"So, any ideas on how to play this, Agent Ward?" asked Simmons.

"First names," said Ward. "Jemma."

"Grant," said Simmons. "You're not the gooey type, are you?"

"The what?" said Ward.

"You're not the type to like public displays of affection, I mean," said Simmons. "You don't seem like you would, anyway."

"I'm good with hand-holding," said Ward. "And that's about it."

"Good," said Simmons. "Great. Glad we cleared that up."

Ward stared at her. "We should go find clothes. And you should probably call your parents."

"Right," said Simmons. "I'll go do that." She went up the stairs towards the bunks.

"I think she's disappointed," said Fitz casually. "Just a tiny bit, though."

"Can you see Simmons in clubs?" asked Ward.

"I can actually," said Fitz. "She used to drag me out once in a while when she thought our brains were frying."

"That's not what he meant, Agent Ward," said May. "It's your NPDA policy. You're going to have to relax a bit on this one."

"Just pretend that you like her and you'll be fine," advised Skye as she went to the mini-BUS for some quality time with her computer. May retreated to her cockpit, Fitz went down to the lab to do some last minute work on the Night-Night guns, leaving Ward and Coulson in the briefing room.

"What?" said Ward, finally processing what his teammates and said.

"Jemma Simmons is a bright young thing," said Coulson. "You can count on her. As I recall, it was her lap you passed out in during the ghost incident."

"I suppose so sir," said Ward. "I don't do people well. Relationships even worse."

"Which is why you have Simmons with you," said Coulson. "You know her. You care about her, even if only as a teammate. That's a good start for you."


End file.
